


Glitch

by BiffElderberry



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 19:59:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14433012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiffElderberry/pseuds/BiffElderberry
Summary: “Janet, what’s going on?”There was the all to familiar ding of Janet appearing in the house.“Today, the weather is a balmy 75 degrees Fahrenheit. There is no rain scheduled. In the park there will be a hot dog eating contest- “ Janet started.“No, I mean why are there cribs everywhere?” Eleanor interrupted.“Oh, I got those for the baby.” Janet replied.





	Glitch

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HereInLies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HereInLies/gifts).



> This was really fun to write, I hope you enjoy it? 
> 
> End of season 1 and beginning of season 2 spoilers. Also I flubbed and had Chidi and Eleanor as soulmates in one of the resets. By the time I realized it I written most of it, and didn't want to go back and invent a new soulmate for her.

Eleanor hated waking up in her cottage. She hated the openness of having her bed on a platform, in the main living space. She hated the clowns painted everywhere. She hated having to stumble down off the platform every morning to make it to the coffee maker in the kitchen. This was supposed to be the good place, but it really rather sucked. 

“Morning,” She greeted Chidi with a yawn as she walked to the coffee maker. 

“Eleanor-” Chidi started. She hated how awake he was in the morning. He’d be ready for a full conversation before she even had a chance to wake up.  

Eleanor ignored him while she poured herself a cup of coffee. She breathed the fumes in deep, letting the smell wake her up. At least the good place had coffee. 

“Eleanor,” Chidi said again. This time she turned and fixed him with a stare. 

“What?” She asked, a little sharper than she meant. But Chidi would forgive her, he always would. 

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Chidi asked. 

“No? Well I mean I might have taken Gary’s order at the coffee shack, but it was mostly on accident, and I just didn’t return it,” Eleanor replied, slowly sipping on her coffee. She grimaced, her stomach was queasy. Must be all the thinking before she was actually awake. 

“No, I mean we’ll come back to that later, but why are there cribs everywhere?” Chidi asked. 

“Oh fork!” Eleanor barely had time to set down her coffee before she was throwing up in the sink. She heard the bar stool squeak as Chidi rushed to her side.  When her guts finally stopped heaving, Chidi handed her a glass of water to rinse her mouth out with. 

“I guess that settles it,” Chidi sighed, leaning against the counter.

“That settles nothing,” Eleanor replied eyes wide. She couldn’t actually be could she? But Chidi was right, there were at least a hundred cribs scattered around the part of the house she could see. There were new doors everywhere. 

“Whose is it?” Chidi asked, “I mean I’ve only known you for two weeks, and it’s not like we’ve... you know.” 

“I haven’t forked in two years!” Eleanor was practically shouting.  “Janet, what’s going on?” 

There was the all to familiar ding of Janet appearing in the house. 

“Today, the weather is a balmy 75 degrees fahrenheit. There is no rain scheduled. In the park there will be a hot dog eating contest- “ Janet started. 

“No, I mean why are there cribs everywhere?” Eleanor interrupted. 

“Oh, I got those for the baby.” Janet replied. 

“I told you,” Chidi muttered.    
  
“What baby?” Eleanor said, ignoring him. “I can’t be pregnant.” 

“You are,” Janet replied, helpfully. 

“Fork!” Eleanor had to sit down. She worked her way around the cribs, almost tripping over a bassinet as she made her way to the couch. 

“Who’s the father?” Chidi asked Janet. Eleanor looked up as Janet materialized an image of a man. He was young, dark hair, looked like a hipster. 

“What the fork, I would never fork with that kind of dutchbagel,” Eleanor swore. “Who the heck is he? When did we even fork? Can you even get pregnant in the good place.” 

“His name is Trevor, that’s the end of my file on him,” Janet said with a frown. “I seem to be missing data on your interactions with him. You are the first case of a pregnancy within the good place.” 

“I need a drink,” Eleanor groaned, flopping back on the couch. She instantly regretted it as her stomach rolled again. 

“No, she doesn’t need that,” Chidi said, intercepting the bottle of tequila Janet materialized. 

“Yes I do,” Eleanor groaned. Chidi got the second bottle away from Janet before Janet could hand it to her. 

“First you need to decide what you want to do about the baby,” Chidi told her. “Janet, please don’t tell anyone about all this.”  Janet smiled and nodded before disappearing from their home.

“Fork, I’ll never get used to her,” Eleanor sighed. Chidi gently sat in the chair across from her. Eleanor could feel him staring at her. It was annoying but it was better than him talking. 

“Eleanor,” Chidi finally said. Of course the silence couldn’t last forever. Eleanor opened her eyes, looking over at him with a sigh. “Have you ever wanted to have children?” he asked gently. 

“No,” Eleanor admitted. “I always figured I’d just fork them up. Just like everything else in my life.” 

“So what do you want to do about-”

“I don’t know yet,” Eleanor replied before he could say “the baby.” She couldn’t admit it to herself just yet. She just needed to not think about it for a moment. And she couldn’t avoid thinking about it here, surrounded by all the cribs.  “I need some air,” she told him. She was out the door before he could say anything. 

She walked briskly away from the cottage, her mind reeling. She had never wanted to be a mother. When she had been alive she had actively taken measures against becoming a mother. She didn’t even know how it was possible, being dead and all.  She couldn’t ask Michael, because nothing would out her faster. 

“Of forking course,” She groaned as she saw Jianyu walking towards her. “Good morning, Jianyu,” she greeted, pretending to be the happy go lucky person she was in the good place.  

Jianyu nodded, always looking so sereine. He sipped at his tea, and walked with her. Eleanor supposed she could talk to Jianyu. He wouldn’t tell anyone, and people always seemed to feel better after talking to him. At least, he never looked like he was judging them. 

Eleanor opened her mouth to talk but that was when the smell hit her. She barely had time to make it to the nearest trash can before she threw up. 

“Holy shirt, you’re pregnant!” Jianyu gasped. He tossed his tea to the side, running to Eleanor’s side. 

“Forking morning sickness,” Eleanor groaned, trying to spit the taste out of her mouth.  “Wait,” she said, straightening up and looking at Jianyu, “How did you know?” 

“When my dawg got his homegirl pregnant she threw up like that when she smelled our bong water,” he said, “I figure the teas about the same right?” 

“You aren’t really a monk are you,” Eleanor replied, narrowing her eyes. 

“No,” Jianyu said slowly.

“Look, I have bigger problems than that,” Eleanor said, “I’ll make you a deal okay, I won’t tell anyone that you’re not a monk, and you don’t tell anyone I’m pregnant. We’ll revisit this whole thing later.” 

Jianyu barely started to nod before Eleanor turned to go back to her cottage. She didn’t need anyone else figuring out she was pregnant and if that meant facing down all the cribs and nurseries Janet had been generating then so be it. 

When Eleanor walked into the cottage she was relieved to see that the cribs and bassinets littering the main room were gone. There were still doors leading to every nursery imaginable but the doors were all closed.

“Eleanor,” Chidi greeted, stepping out of one of the new doorways and swiftly closing the door behind him. “I got rid of all of the cr- I got rid of all of them.” he corrected himself.  

“Thanks,” she said, flopping down on the couch. 

“I know you don’t want to talk about it,” Chidi said, softly sitting across from her. “But I have to tell you something.” 

“Chidi, I really don’t need a lecture on the ethical ramifications of childbirth, right now.” 

“No, That wouldn’t even-” Chidi started. “Tahani came over while you were gone. She saw all the - everything.” 

“Ah fork,” Eleanor swore, sitting back up abruptly. 

“I asked her not to say anything,” Chidi continued.

“That’s not going to stop her,” Eleanor was on her feet heading towards the door. “She can’t keep her mouth shut about anything she deems is good news.” She could hear Chidi following her as she rushed to Tahani’s house, but she ignored him. 

“Tahani, hi, lovely to see you and all that,” Eleanor said when Tahani answered the door. She pushed past her and into the house. “Don’t say anything, I have to get this out first,” Eleanor continued, not pausing to give Tahani a moment to react, “I know you came over while I was out and saw everything.”

“I know, and I’m so happy for you and Chidi,” Tahani gushed, “I’ve already started to plan the shower. It’s going to be magnificent.” 

“Right,” Eleanor deadpanned, not sure where to even start with this. She hadn’t even considered that everyone would expect it to be Chidi’s child, and how he would feel about it. “Look, Tahani, I know Chidi asked you not to say anything but I just wanted to confirm that you wouldn’t say anything.” 

“I just don’t know why you would want to keep a secret,” Tahani said, “A baby is such a happy thing.” 

“Not, ugh,” Eleanor wanted to tell her everything. She was tired of keeping track of the lie, but how could she tell Tahani all her insecurities like this. She would have to start with the mistake of her making it to the good place, and she just knew, like a distant memory, that Tahani wouldn’t take it well. Eleanor finally decided on a lie. “Back when I was alive my boyfriend and I tried time and time again to have a baby.” She hated the look of pity that immediately grew in Tahani’s eye. It was a lie, she had never wanted a baby, but still the look hurt. “But every time I would get pregnant I would lose the baby. Finally my doctor told me I couldn’t have children.” That part at least was true. 

“Oh Eleanor,” Tahani drew Eleanor into a hug. 

“I just don’t want everyone to know, in case I lose it,” Eleanor continued with a sniffle. Her voice wavering slightly, just enough to sell the act. And it was an act she was sure of it. 

“Okay I’ll keep it secret,” Tahani said as Eleanor pulled out of the hug. “But I already told Michael.” 

“Aw fork,” Eleanor groaned.

“Eleanor!” Tahani gasped at her friend’s language. 

“How could you?” Chidi asked. Eleanor had even forgotten that he was there. He was so quiet during her entire story. 

“He’s the architect of the neighborhood! He needed to know!” Tahani justified. 

This was it, Eleanor knew it. She collapsed into one of the chairs of Tahani’s living room. She was going to be sent to the bad place. All because of some dude she couldn’t even remember fucking. She didn’t react as the there was a knock on the door. 

“Oh, hello Michael,” Tahani greeted. Eleanor barely looked over at the man. 

“Hello, Tahani, it’s always a pleasure,” Michael greeted warmly, stepping into the home. “Eleanor, there you are! I was looking everywhere for you.” 

Eleanor steeled herself. She could fake her way through this. Janet couldn’t confirm to Michael about the pregnancy. She could fake it through this. She would have a few months, at least until she started to show to figure out what to do. 

"Tahani told me the news Eleanor, is it true?" Michael asked, sitting down across from her. 

"No, it's not true." Eleanor replied, with a smile. “Just a mix up, I asked Janet to help me update my crib, as in my cottage, and she got confused.” 

"Eleanor don't lie to me," Michael said, fixing her with a glare, or as much of a glare as he could muster. 

"Why would I lie, Michael, I'm a good person,” Eleanor laughed. 

"You're really not,” Michael deadpanned.

“What?” All three of them gasped, looking over at him. 

“You’re not a good person, Eleanor,” Michael repeated.  

“You know?” Chidi asked. Eleanor could practically see his stomach ache hit him. How could Michael know. They had been so careful. It had only been two weeks since they got here. She had barely fucked up at all. Then it clicked. 

“Oh fork! This is the bad place isn’t it?” She gasped. 

“What?” Someone else said, from over by the window. They all turned to look and saw Jianyu standing there. He must have been walking by and heard their conversation.

“Oh fork of course you’re here too!” Michael yelled, “Jason get in here with the rest of these losers will you?” Jianyu - Jason, Eleanor mentally corrected, scurried into the room with the rest of them. 

“What now?” Eleanor asked, not taking her eyes off Michael. 

“Normally I would just reset the neighborhood and we’d start this little experiment over again,” Michael said, “But I can’t do that while you’re pregnant, so I guess we’ll have to wait it out. Once we ship the brat off to the actual good place, we’ll start all this over again.” 

“What?” Eleanor curled a hand protectively around her stomach. She hadn’t ever wanted to be a mother, and given a choice she would have wanted to give the child up for adoption, but there was a huge difference between making the choice and having someone else make the choice for her. 

“Baby’s can’t be in the bad place, surely you could have guessed that,” Michael sneared.  “On the upside once the neighborhood resets you won’t remember any of this.” Michael opened the door to let himself out. “Oh and Eleanor, it’s just killing me, who’s the father?” 

“Some dutchbagel named Trevor,” Eleanor replied. “I don’t know anything else about him.”

“Oh that forker,” Michael sneared, “I’m going to kill him for forking this up for me.” The door slammed behind him. 

“What do we do now?” Tahani asked, breaking the silence.  Eleanor grimaced. She didn’t know what she wanted anymore. It had all been such a whirlwind. First she finds out she’s pregnant, then that this wasn’t even the good place. She didn’t know what she wanted to do. 

“Eleanor?” Chidi prompted gently.

“I’m going to get out of here,” Eleanor sighed. 

“Right,” Tahani agreed, “We’ll reconvene later to discuss our options.” 

“No, I mean I’m leaving the good place -er the bad place.” Eleanor corrected herself. “Look I might not have ever wanted to be a mother, but I’m not going to let that forker take my baby away.” 

“How do we even leave?” Jason asked. 

“I don’t know, but we have 9 months to figure it out,” Eleanor grimaced. “Look you don’t have to come with me, you can stay here and live in practical paradise if you want. But I’m not going to let that forker take my baby away.” 

“Of course we’re going with you,” Tahani scoffed. “I’ve always wanted to be an aunt, and well my relationship with my own sister was a travesty. So really this is my only chance.” 

“Sounds better than being here,” Jason shrugged, “Hey do you think Janet will come with us? She’s kinda hot.” 

Chidi didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to. Eleanor knew he would follow her to the end of the world even if she didn’t ask him to. She could feel tears prickling at the edge of her eyes. 

“Are you crying?” Tahani asked. 

“No, it’s just the hormones,” Eleanor groaned, wiping her eyes.

“Janet?” Chidi asked. There was the familiar ding as Janet popped into the house. 

“If someone were to leave the neighborhood, how would they go about doing so?” He asked.

“The only way out of the neighborhood is by train,” Janet replied. 

“Where can we go by train?” Tahani asked.

“The train runs between the bad place, the middle place, and the good place,” Janet replied with a smile. 

“There’s a middle place?” Eleanor gasped. “I forking knew it!” 

“Yes, the middle place, home of Mindy St. Claire,” Janet supplied. 

“We’ll go there,” Eleanor said, “When’s the next train?” 

“I can call you a train right now,” Janet replied, “Would you like me too?” 

“Yes,” Tahani, Eleanor, and Chidi shouted at the same time. 

  
“Are you single?” Jason asked, completely oblivious to the unison reply around him. 

Janet popped out of existence. 

“Okay everyone get anything you want to take with you and we’ll meet up at the train station in 5 minutes,” Eleanor said, absently placing a hand on her stomach. “Make sure Michael doesn’t see you leave.” 

They could do this. Eleanor knew it, and they would never come back to this hell hole. 


End file.
